How To Fight In A Dress: Gird Up Your Loins!

How To Fight In A Dress: Gird Up Your Loins!


Should you find yourself at an event
where you are wearing a ballgown when you are unexpectedly attacked by baddies
you will need to know how to gird up your loins for battle. While Mirandemia
on Tumblr has provided a useful guide to girding one’s loins in a ballgown, it
will not work for all formal dresses as we shall see. And so adaptations along
the lines of The Art of Manliness guide may be necessary. To gird one’s loins in
a ballgown first hitch the fabric of your skirt up to your knees, then gather
all the skirt material in front of you, pass it between your legs, divide it in
two, bring it around to the front and knot in front of your waist. You will look
like you’re wearing a brightly colored nappy but hey one can’t be too picky
when one is being attacked by baddies. However this knot may not be possible
for all forms of formal dress and may not feel very secure. Several adaptations
are possible in these cases. You can borrow a tie from a gentleman friend or
enemy and use this as a belt into which you can tuck the fabric to secure it. You
can use an actual belt to do likewise, or you can use a scarf. If your dress is not
particularly poufy it may be possible to use a belt, tie or scarf to hitch up the
fabric of your skirt to make it knee length
allowing you much greater freedom of movement in any unexpectedly martial
situations in which you may find yourself. Plus you don’t look like you’re
wearing a giant nappy. As a side note it is important that if your dress has it
for example floofy sleeves which might get in the way of fighting baddies you
should also deal with those appropriately. For example by wrapping
them around your forearm and tucking them or by wrapping them around your
upper arm and tucking them. One further note: having your hair out of your face
for such occasions is useful and a bonus is to have a hair accessory which can
double as a weapon in a pinch. I hope you enjoyed this video if you did come check
out the rest of my channel and feel free to subscribe if it looks like something
you’d like for now I just hope that you’re prepared should you ever be at a
formal event and run into baddies. Good luck.

37 thoughts on “How To Fight In A Dress: Gird Up Your Loins!

  1. Girding one's loins for unexpectedly martial situations in formal wear seems like a worthwhile Channel and itself. Also, thank you for suggesting the ability to keep accessories which double as weapons as a justification for longer hair.

  2. I could have used this advice last weekend when I was traversing the countryside and my carriage was attacked by mustachioed banditos looking to steal my collection of priceless Rubies. Normally I'd use my mastery of Kung Fu to shoo them away but they caught me in my best ball gown so I had no choice but to surrender my jewels. Well never again banditos! because I subscribe to Jill Bearup's youtube channel

  3. New idea for a DnD character.
    High born woman who attends fancy balls as a secret bodyguard for the ritch. Thinking some kind of Monk Rogue combo

  4. Welp, my 40th Birthday Celebrations have so far not been invaded by untowardity, Though I can't be entirely certain that this will remain the case. Still, I'll keep a weather eye.

  5. I got a good laugh out of imagining a group of henchman appearing and go: "Prepare to die" and the heroine holds up her hand and is like: "Okay, give me a few minutes" and begins to tie up her dress, while the henchman are too dumbfounded to know how to deal with it. 😀

  6. I love your evolution. Nothing quite like the psychology and sociology of a person moving from book nerd to bona fide internet sex symbol 😎

  7. Now I want my heroins in shows to tie their dresses instead of ripping them. Such a waste of good clothes. Especially in medieval settings

  8. I would LOVE to see a movie wherein a "gentleman ruffian" lends a lady his tie so that she could spar with him properly. Why raid a society ball if not to make it fun for everyone?

  9. The loins-girding is well explained, but if wuxia's taught me anything, it's that having long flowing sleeves that swoosh around while you swordfight only increases your combat ability.

  10. While the ripping fabric method looks distinctly badass, the tuck in method means your gown can be used again provided you do not get too much of the blood of your enemies on it.

  11. You're a stitch. Absolutely loved this. As a male, I think this is most instructive in showing when I should be prepared to flee a female fighter. 😉

  12. Interesting video.
    I'll have to remember this as it seems like something that might crop up in one of my writing projects. I can imagine one character insisting her date brings an extra belt with him in case she needs one to hitch up her dress.

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